On Monday night I was forced to say goodbye to my beautiful baby bear.  I'm so grateful for the nearly seven years I spent with him it still doesn't make his passing any less painful.  He wasn't taken away from old age but from an aggressive form of cancer which just breaks my heart.  He went through so much and he always remained so sweet.  As a child, you weep and you miss your animals when they pass but your parents still hold all of the actual responsibility.  As an adult, you're the ones holding them and whispering how you love them as they take their final breath.  You're the one falling to the floor, crying so hard that you're choking.  It's a nightmare.

I've been conditioned to open every door and see him waiting for me, to call out his name every night and have him jump in between us, to wake up cradling him, to get daily hugs, to dance with him and to hear him chirp.  My instinct is to hold him while I walk around the house.  It's confusing, lonely and quiet to not have him with me.  I miss him so much.

Thankfully I have the most amazing friends.  A few stopped by during Monday afternoon to say goodbye to him.  We've had an out pour of heartfelt messages which mean so much to me.  Jaime stopped by with the most beautiful and fragrant flowers.  I don't even think she knew they are my favorite kind.  Hanna made us dinner two nights in a row because we weren't eating and she sang this beautiful song for us.  It makes me cry because it's so sweet and so sad.  Thank you, Hanna.  

While I had the pleasure of being with Romeo for 7 years, Aumie was his dad for nearly 4 more years.  Romeo was left in a box on the doorstep of Aumie's apartment.  The couple saw Morpheus in the window and figured Aumie would know what to do with a baby gingerbear.  Aumie gave him the best life and has been the best parent of anyone I have EVER known.  And Romeo was there for Aumie as he evolved and had major life transitions.  They drove across the country when he moved to Portland.  Aumie was meant to have Romeo and Romeo was meant to have Aumie.

I am so thankful for all of you.  I am eternally thankful for you, Aumie.  You allowed me into your life and I was rewarded with the best family.

I love you so much, my little lion man.  My little star.  My baby bear.
Little star, so you had to go.
You must have wanted him to know.
You must have wanted the world to know.
Poor little thing.
Now they know.


  1. Im so so so sorry for your loss. I'm crying my eyes out right now because it reminded me when I lost my doggie. You find yourself calling their name or you think you can hear their little claws against the floor. It's so heart breaking but I just try to tell myself that we gave her our all, she had so much love from us and she gave us so much love and memories. Romeo is now in pet heaven.

  2. <3 I miss my bear..

  3. :(

    I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I know how difficult it's been, and going to be, but you're strong, and I know eventually everything is going to be okay. Until then, keep your head up, and remember all the good things about your little mister. [hug] <333

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. What a heartbreaking thing to deal with. Wishing you and Aumie all the best.

  5. Naunas, you and Aumie are amazing. How much love you guys have for those fur babies is incredible. They are lucky, and you guys are too to have such sweet lil loves. This is so sweet, thank you for sharing your love with the rest of us. We are ALWAYS here if you need anything.